STOP. The following is pretty spoilery.
So if you haven’t read or finished INDUSTRY DARLING, I’m talking down the very last sentence; quit reading this and go finish the book (that is if you hate things kind of being spoiled for you).
Still giving you time to click out of the browser.
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The ending of Industry Darling is a suckerpunch. I know that. I wrote it. And I cried writing it. I typed out the words, one at a time, read it and reread it, shoved my laptop to the other side of the couch, hugged my knees to my chest and cried. You all weren’t the only ones suckerpunched here. But the ending is right. I wrote it that way for a reason.
You see, once upon a time, I found myself in a very unhealthy relationship with a boy that I loved almost more than I loved anyone else. We were all chemistry and charm and a dozen roses. At least, on the good days. On the bad days, there were lies and betrayals and hanging up the phone mid-sentence. But for years, I found myself in this back and forth, up and down, crying, screaming, crazy excuse for love, because all the books and all the movies and all the songs taught me that real love goes through trials–if you lose someone and they come back to you, regardless of what they have done or what you have done–THAT is true love.
Before I go on, I want you to know that Slate isn’t based on anyone (if you meet a Slate, run), neither is Ryman (if you meet one of her, run, too)–they’re both figments of my imagination. I have simply read one too many stories about the bad boy main character breaking the heart of the girl he loves, and in end, they end up together anyway. Because in the end, the bad boy realizes what he’s screwing up. In the end, the girl is rewarded with her prince for being so loyal and so loving and so forgiving, because love conquers all.
I’m here to tell you that I think that is crap and I was tired of reading it and seeing it play out on TV.
But it’s what we’re taught. We’re taught that passion is drama. We’re taught that true love is discovered at the highest of stakes. We’re taught that when you are in love, you fight for it no matter what and you forgive no matter what, because that is right and true and how you get your happily ever after. But you know what you get with that? Girls who are willing to set themselves on fire to keep the loves of their lives warm. I’ve done it; I watched my friends (guys and girls) do it. Because you think, this is it; no one will ever love me like this again and I will never love anyone else like this again. this is real and isn’t real love the ultimate goal? And I think this idea people have of these dramatic tumultuous relationships being true love stories is so dangerous. “He’ll come back because he loves you.” “You’ll give him a second chance because you love him.” “You guys have been through SO much together, you’re meant to be.” “You guys will find your way back to each other because no matter what happens, you’ll always love each other.” But this is where we miss the point: The “I love you,” does not excuse the “You hurt me.”
Because you see, I’ve learned something over the past few years: you can be addicted to a person. You can be addicted to the wrong person. I was. And I called it love.
Because I was taught the extreme highs and the extreme lows, the kind of drama that makes for good plots and good television and good movies was the kind of love that people were supposed to have and live off of.
Believe it or not, the very first draft of Industry Darling had a happy ending. Because I believed that Slate and Ryman loved each other; they survived SO much together, and love deserves a happy ending. Doesn’t it?
Then I realized, that was not their reality. I’m not sure they love each other. They have an addiction to one another. They have the drama and the extremes, and the sweet moments and moments of cruel betrayal. But do they really love each other? I can’t answer that for you. All I know is the relationship they have is not one that could’ve ended well in any capacity. Love does not always work miracles and addictions will always be self-destructive. And Ryman… Ryman should’ve let go. Ryman should’ve run and, I think, if Slate really loved her, he would’ve let her.
Being addicted to a drug can put you in the ground, being addicted to a person can take you straight to hell. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm at night.
And this is dangerous, because I want you so much but I hate your guts.
